I'll be right back???

Dear readers,  I was amazed this week to find that life exists somewhere besides my computer screen.  I have been so busy being fascinated by this fact and testing its limits that I have been remiss in the last few days with my writings here in the bloggerverse (What, no?!  Of course I didn't just make that word up, it's a real word!)
Therefore, tonight I hope to make amends to you all and as I sit here typing with some awesome (yet highly annoying at the moment as they are looking over my shoulder and reading this as I type) friends.  In honor of our crazy movie marathon, here are some life facts that I have learned from watching movies...

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris

In the movies, you are likely to survive any battle in any war...unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Always be nice and considerate to the weird, deformed recluse who lives down the street from you. When a gang of teenagers burn down his house with him in it, in a prank gone wrong of course, you won’t be on his list. When he inevitably survives the fire and plots revenge, he’ll remember YOU were the one who made him baked goods and picked him up from the Denny’s at 3am when his car wouldn’t start. You’ll be in good with him.

When moving into a new house and evil spirits tell you to get out, just pack up your stuff and go. Don’t try to find out the history of the house or hold a séance to ask the evil spirits why they are there and a bunch of other stupid and fruitless questions. This is only going to get you involved in righting their wrongful death or you will find out your fourth cousin on your mom’s side killed the loved ones of the evil spirits and now its game on for revenge! All you really need to know is that they can make your life miserable and they want you to go. Just move, quickly. 

And if someone tells you to say the name of a dead person 3 times while looking in a mirror, I beg of you, please turn off the bathroom lights, go to the kitchen, make a sandwich, and turn on Family Guy. No one has ever been murdered while eating a sandwich and watching Family Guy.

And since our next movie is starting and I need to wrap this up I will add for your viewing pleasure some more fun facts you can learn from watching movies:

I hope that you were able to find some wisdom within these words to enrich your life, or prolong it if you should find yourself in a horror movie!