Take out the toothpick Honey, it's time for the wedding photos!

As I was driving to the post office today, I could not help but notice that all roads into town were blocked with detour signs everywhere.

I found a sign explaining what my little one stop light town was celebrating today, a holiday that I had not even known was coming.

Apparently, today is the day we celebrate our Redneck Heritage!!  Yee Haw Y'all!!!  Time to smack the dog and spit the fire!

So in honor of this special day, I have decided to celebrate everything Redneck. 

I realize you might be asking, "But Ninja, how do I know if I am a Redneck or not?" 

Friend, I am glad you asked. Here are some sure fire ways to know.

You might be a redneck if:

You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

 The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

 There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

You burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

Fewer than half of your cars run.

And how do you recognize an upper class redneck? Here's how:

Thanks for stopping by everyone and have a safe and happy Redneck Heritage Day!!